First Day of School (Again)

A miracle has happened. I dropped Miller off to school this morning, and? No tears. From either of us. Just smiles. All smiles.

Last Tuesday morning, something in me said, “It’s time. Call the school.” I did. The school that seems to have a perpetual waiting list had an opening for him. We went in that same day and toured. We were both excited – it felt right to me, and he wanted to get back to the toys in his would-be classroom.

It wasn’t until I got home and put Miller down for his nap that memories and fear from my past experiences set in. I wrote a blog post about it. Getting it out helped. Unexpectedly, the post set into motion a huge outpouring of love and support from so very many of you, friends and strangers alike. You helped.

For the past week, we’ve talked about school – that he gets to be with friends. That mommy will drop him off and then leave, but that I will be back. We’ve told friends and family about it with that same spark of excitement.

This morning arrived. I felt nervous, edgy. What if this is like the last two times? “No, I reassured myself. This time feels different. This time he’s ready. You’re ready. It’s time.”

As I took his coat off in the classroom, he spotted some cars and a ramp. The rest is history.

cars

He gave an unprompted “cheeeeese” for this picture.

Today is his first day of school (again). You could say the third time’s a charm. I say, I listened to my gut, and she never fails me. She has my best interest at heart always. And right now? My heart is happy. Perhaps even happier than Miller is playing with cars.

Thank you friends, for your love. We have tons of it in this family. But sometimes, when I falter on fear, it’s nice to know that so many of you care, thus bridging the gap for me back to love.

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