Commode To Joy

finding happy in the crappy

Haff To or Have To

“Look at all this shiz I have to do.” I said looking at my kitchen island. It’s my dumping ground for to-dos: Reminders of calls to make, returns, laundry to put away, mail, Miller’s school art projects, etc…

I’d just gotten home from a morning workout and errands. I was hungry and shaky and watching the clock to pick Miller up on time from school. “Look at all this shiz I have to do.”

The word “have” jumped out at me.

Often times, the word “have” comes out “haff”. “I haff to call so and so.” “I haff to go to the grocery store.” “Miller, you haff to eat real food before you can have sweets.”

The subtlety between haff and have caught my attention. Haff to feels like the to-dos own me. But what about have?

When changed to its proper pronunciation – I have to. I have this stuff to do – it puts me back in the driver seat. The to-dos are mine. I have the stuff. I own the stuff. I’m the one who put it on the list in the first place.

From that vantage point, yes, I see that I have lots of minutia staring me in the face. I also see that none of it is time sensitive. None of it. So I have it, and I’m setting it aside for a little bit longer, because I’d much rather write this installment.

In the not too distant future, I haff to get Miller to his soccer lesson on time, and we haff to get to my niece’s preschool graduation on time. I’ll haff to be at the house tomorrow when the appliance repairman gets here.

The laundry that still needs folded? I have to do. Whenever I get to it.

Packaging the returns that are currently on the counter? I have that to do…maybe during nap time. Maybe.

Getting the kiddos to school on time? Haff to.

Making your work deadline? Haff to.

Paying your bills on time? Haff to.

All of those millions of other things zooming around in your mind, some of which you may have even remember to write down? Chances are they’re to-dos that you have. Have-tos when you say on your timeline.

Whatever it is going on in your life, separate out time sensitive matters to prioritize to-dos. If it’s a haff to, get on it. Top of the list. Be where you need to be and do what you need to do.

As for the haves? Don’t stress about them. Don’t let them turn you into an angry jerk at your family just because they’re piling up, and don’t let them steal your happiness. You own them, not the other way around.

Now pardon me as I go clean myself up for this evening’s festivities.

It’s a haff to; this morning’s workout was a good one.

Categories: Encouragement

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