Once upon a time, as a college student, I noticed a certain truck in front of me at a stoplight: the Ford Super Duty.
“What a ridiculous name for a truck,” I laughed. “It sounds like a term for taking a dump.”
As a little girl, my mother used to refer to Number Two as a “Big Job”. A Super Duty is clearly in the same realm.
Inspiration struck. I decided right then and there that, when I had a child, I would create a Super Duty cape and use it for potty training. It would be the reward of all rewards saved especially for pooping on the toilet.
Equal parts genius and hilarious, I know I know.
Fast forward well over ten years to last summer when I found a superhero cape at a local kids/gifts store.
“This is it. This will be the Super Duty cape,” I smiled feeling victorious.
For all you know he’ll hate wearing it and the whole idea will backfire on you, interjected Snarky.
I purchased it anyway and stashed it in the closet til the time arrived for potty training. But then, an unexpected occurrence. The night before Halloween, I went rummaging through the house to put together a last minute costume for Miller and found the cape.
“Perfect,” I thought to myself. “This’ll give me a chance to see if he even likes wearing it.”
He loved it. The Miller Man was born, and Halloween was a hit.
The next morning, Miller wanted to wear his cape again. My plan was unfolding beautifully. I explained the terms, “When you go poop on the toilet or your potty chair, you can wear the cape again.”
He mean mugged me and went back to playing with his cars.
In the four plus months since, I’ve personalized the cape, talked numerous times about getting to wear it (as has my mom and some of the sitters), and still, it hangs in the closet.
The boy can tell me when he’s going to go. I let him streak naked around the house, and he’ll tell me when he needs his diaper. If I suggest the toilet, here come the tears. It’s not worth a meltdown, which helps no one, least of all the cause, so I don’t push it.
One of these days it’ll happen. In the meantime? F it.
The adventures of Super Duty…to be continued.